I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize