Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize