i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
