DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
