Swine flu. Run for my life!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize