the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Banned from zoo.
Again?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
