he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
