We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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