There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
