i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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