Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
