Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
