You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
