pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
