I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
