There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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