Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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