guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
