She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
