I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Alive.
So much puke
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
