My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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