Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
