we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
