Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize