so that wasnt chicken after all
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
