I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
