i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
