Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
