Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
