I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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