just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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