I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
this just has baby written all over it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
