the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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