i just wanna soil my oats bro
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
where are you?
Hypothermia
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
