would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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