Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
