You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize