I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
