the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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