you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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