This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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