nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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