sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
