Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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