Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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