so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
