the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
