i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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