so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
