Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
