I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize