If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
