She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
