shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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