Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
