i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Everyone says I win the strip club
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
