He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize