Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
