If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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