***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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