Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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